25 Mar Three keys to more productive conversations
“It feels like we are just talking in circles.” “I feel like we never get anything resolved.” These are two of the most common complaints that I hear from couples in my practice. What these couples often lack are a few simple tools that can greatly improve how productive their conversations can be.
The first key to improving our conversations is focus. What I mean by that is simply agree to focus on a singular topic before beginning the conversation. Simply knowing that both people are starting with the same focus, can help increase positive outcomes. All too often, couples begin conversations without even realizing that each person is focused on something different. This often leads to frustration and can foster resentment.
The second key is facts. While this may sound simple, it is really difficult to stick with the facts if emotions begin dominating the conversation. If you are trying to resolve an issue, work on sticking to the facts and the goal of the conversation. Just because a conversation creates some difficult emotions, doesn’t mean the conversation isn’t necessary. It is very easy to argue opinions, but you can’t really argue facts.
The last key to making our conversations more productive is follow through. Once you and your partner have come to an agreement about what needs to be done, make sure both of you follow through with the decision. Otherwise, you will just end up back at the beginning, repeating the same conversations.
Whether your relationship is on life support or is running all cylinders, every relationship can benefit from improving communication. If you need help implementing these strategies, please contact one of our therapists for an appointment and we will be glad to help.